drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
