HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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