you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
