Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
