I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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