Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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