I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize