I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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