I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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