is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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