When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
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