I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
