Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
