Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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