This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
