drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
