"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
