isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
