There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
