I accidentally burped into my bong.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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