oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
