i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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