so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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