this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
