Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I wear drunk well.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
