I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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