sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
