it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
