WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
