ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
