ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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