Whod you bang
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
