No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
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