I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
