real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
