my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
