You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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