Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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