If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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