They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Randomize
