Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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