508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
