weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
