Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
