it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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