You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
