I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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