I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Enjoy the penises
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
