her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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