hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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