I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
