Soap is not a condiment
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
