I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
