Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
