There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Who died my cat blue again?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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