We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
