singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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