i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
