You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
vagina is talking i cant
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
They are going to name an STD after you.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
