At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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