Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
