That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
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