Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Sext me about skeletons
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
