We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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