420 ftw
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
