I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
