Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
