we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize