I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
