I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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