Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
