When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
