It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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