Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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