I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
