yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
