the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
