I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
