I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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