in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
