...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
