apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
