The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
